she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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