Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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