Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
