Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Randomize
