Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
