She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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