Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
he fucked my hip out of place.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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