I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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