Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
