The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
