dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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