yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
