The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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