We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Randomize
