You really coming over, don't trick.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
