Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
