sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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