I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
