yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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