Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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