My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
