The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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