How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just blew my weed a kiss
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Randomize
