The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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