no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
