"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
