I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
