We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
