You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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