I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
