He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
