Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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