shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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