I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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