Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
