"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
