I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
