Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
