dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
There's always time for handjobs
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
