look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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