I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
