your thong is hanging out like whoa
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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