I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
this just has baby written all over it
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize