i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize