Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
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If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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