i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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