Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
