You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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