Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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