he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
