when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
