what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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