my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
