we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
