New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
