Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Randomize
