I seem to have left my pride at pride
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
