You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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