with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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