last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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