This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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