Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize