can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
