school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I need water and some morals
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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