just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I woke up under a house in Key West
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